Redefining EverythingJuly 02 2017

Redefining Everything

"How long does it take to redefine everything?"  A rhetorical question I posed to my domestic violence counselor.  I already knew the answer, "A long time."  In my humble opinion, there are many folks walking around with "trauma brain" that don't realize it or maybe don't know what to do about it.  They may need reframe "everything" or, at least, "something". The good news is that in redefining "everything" (or "something") the physical and psychological pain are transformed into joy...

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Lacto Paleo: My Gateway DietMarch 28 2017

Lacto Paleo: My Gateway Diet

Lacto Paleo worked well for about the first month.  Evidently, for me, lacto paleo is a gateway diet to Doritos and Mountain Dew.  I have realized that I am not yet strong enough to make healthy eating choices.  I have been attempting to eat well but have been cheating and non-committal.  The reality is that I need the boundaries of the Whole30.  Today is Day 1 of the Whole30x2, a.k.a. Whole60.  I feel so much better physically, emotionally, have less...

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Whole30 SuccessDecember 18 2016

Whole30 Success

The Whole30 was a huge success.  Losing 17 pounds has been wonderful, but the internal and external transformation is the best part of this experience.  As I take the time to listen to what my body needs or doesn't need, I have discovered that shifts in my life seem to occur almost effortlessly.  I can't force my recovery, but I have learned that I can cooperate with the process by having a more open heart in conjunction with healthy boundaries....

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Skate From My HeartDecember 01 2016

Skate From My Heart

Today is Day 15 and the halfway point of the Whole30.  YAY!!  The most challenging part was not surviving Thanksgiving without stuffing my face with lots of pie. It has been to sit with and allow very strong waves of emotions to roll through me.  Sometimes, it feels more like I am drowning in an ocean of rage or grief.  I now know that it is a temporary state and I am not going to die.  This may seem like...

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The Year of NormalNovember 17 2016

The Year of Normal

For the past 6 months, I have been gradually finding my normal.  Even the awareness that there is an in between state of being has been helpful.  It's comforting to know that I don't have to be either "falling off the cliff" or doing really well.  I am pretty damn happy finding my feet land on some "run of the mill" ways of living.  If someone had told me that I'd still be dealing with the affects of domestic violence...

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A Safe PlaceNovember 01 2016

A Safe Place

I am a good and difficult employee.  I am good in that my character is set; I am hardworking, honest, loyal, and trustworthy.  When I am better, I do better.  I am a difficult employee because I am in recovery from an abusive marriage.  My brain and body struggle daily with a mixture of grief, anxiety, and depression. (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a gift that keeps on giving.)  It ain't pretty, folks.  The food industry is demanding with...

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