The Year of Normal November 17 2016
For the past 6 months, I have been gradually finding my normal. Even the awareness that there is an in between state of being has been helpful. It's comforting to know that I don't have to be either "falling off the cliff" or doing really well. I am pretty damn happy finding my feet land on some "run of the mill" ways of living. If someone had told me that I'd still be dealing with the affects of domestic violence three years later, I wouldn't have believed it. The tentacles of domestic violence are so entrenched that I have been in a long process of redefining and relearning literally everything in my life. It takes time to recover from an 18 year abusive relationship. My conversations with my support team are pretty humorous as they affirm that x,y, & z behaviors, interactions, or thoughts are indeed normal.
Wednesday was my birthday and as it does every year I was contemplating the next year. I had decided to do another round of the Whole30 and then afterward take the rest of the year to eat a Paleo diet. I am expecting my diet to aid, support, and accelerate my recovery. This plan is a grander application of what I have been learning about real food's healing affects.
Here's what I didn't expect from making this commitment... Wednesday (my busiest and longest work day) was a very challenging day for me. (Thankfully, everyone got their yummy food, I didn't wreck Pearl (BBK's Subaru), nor did a cooler fly out the hatch or side door.) I was bummed that I had such physical and mental upheaval on my birthday, but I knew not to fight it. I slowed down, triple checked myself, and led from my spirit (and the Holy Spirit) and soul (the true me) and not my body or mind. While exhausted, I was proud that the day had been successfully navigated. Stacia from A Mom's Space (our Lafayette pick up location) agreed that my body's fits were a confirmation that I was on the right path. My body and mind were reminding me of how debilitating CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can be, plus I've had a migraine off and on for over a week. (At one point, it even landed me in the emergency room to help alleviate the pain.) My body has been literally screaming at me that these changes are desired and welcomed. Cheers to Day 1 of the Whole30!